i have not checked my xanga in forever. i dont really think anyone does anymore. but i figured i would just write in here. it took me about 5 minutes to remember where to go to type one of these. My life has changed quite a bit since i last wrote everything. I started high school, which has been an adventure. And i have gained and lost people. I guess this summer my "standards" got tested and i learned and began to understood what all i stood for and didnt stand for. I lost a good friend, who now i guess you could say she thinks of me as an enemy. Dont really know what to do about that... I have formed such a strong bond with my best friend, Merri Scott. She has helped me through so much. As far as relashionships go, i began to talk to the guy up the street over the summer. I guess you could say i wanted the fairy tale of datin the guy up the road and its all great after that. But due to his past mistakes it didnt work that way. It caused a lot of trouble in my house, i argued with my parents over it for a very long time. People at school warned me about who he really is, and i guess i just never believed them. I always wanted to belive what he was telling me, when really he dindt mean one word of it. It hurts, and i still let it bother me sometimes. Seeing him just sets me off. I get mad, and just wish he knew what all his lies did. . Now i am dating Ray. My family raelly likes him, which is something great for me to know because they are supportive of it. He makes me laugh, and forget everything bad. He is best friends with merri scotts boyfriend. its fun, and i am really really happy in our relashionship. My parents are now seperated...if only i could describe the amount of stress its caused me. I always put on a smile, but sometimes i just dont know how to keep that up. I go to counlsing now, which does help me learn to deal with it all. They both come to me and talk to me about it all, which i dont realy like. But when they are apart they are a lot happier, they just dont have the strength to follow throughw ith divorce. Change is a very difficult thing, so i am trying to be as understanding as possible. I am spending my first Thanksgiving tm without my mom. I am going up to Kentucky to be with dad, which today hit me kinda hard. Life is difficult. Thats one thing i have learned lately. But i try to remind myself that God is testing me because he finds my faith worthy of being tested. All for now. | 
